Written by anthonyrosania

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

image for An Inconvenient Counterargument. Part One.

"Did you poop?"

"No," my daughter answered. Over her left shoulder I could see a pile of brownish baby exhaust creating a costly stain on an (once) off-white glider in her bedroom.

"Isn't that poop, Miel?"

"Yeah," she answered, scanning my face for a reaction.

One last try: "Miel, did you poop?"

A moment to think, then a brilliant response: Pointing to her diaper, she looked dead in my eyes and said, "No, chair's poopy. Miel's poopy is in here."

Five or so years ago I took the very unpopular position that there is no such thing as a Zero Emissions electric vehicle, stating that they should more accurately be called "remote emissions vehicles."

My argument was simple; you have to measure the emissions that a vehicle is responsible for, and not just what comes out of it. Unless an electric cars is recharged via garage mounted solar collectors, the electricity is coming from a power plant, one most likely powered by coal or natural gas, and therefore must be creating emissions. You have to take all of the circumstances involved with making the electricity, and not just where the electricity is finally consumed, into the equation.

Electric cars poop where the electricity is generated, not out of their exhaust pipes. And just because there's no poop in your diaper doesn't mean you didn't poop.

I felt quite vindicated when, in 2006, an Oregon market research firm released a report which claimed that a Humvee (13 miles per gallon) uses less energy than a Prius (48 city). Pound for pound, making a Prius contributes more carbon to the atmosphere than making a Hummer, largely due to the environmental cost of the 30 pounds of nickel in the hybrid's battery.

It certainly was nice that someone got it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Global Warming

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more