Six Most Embarrassing Wikileaks Revelations

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

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In addition to guaranteeing that many Iraqi and Afghan anti-terrorism workers will be killed when their association with the US is revealed, Wikileaks' release of 313 jillion personal emails and other documents has shed light on what US officials really think of world leaders.

Here are the most embarrassing comments released thus far:

6."She is an ineffective figure-head, but a smoking hot piece of ass. I'll spend my next meeting with her with my head in her lap, licking the preamble to the Constitution of the United States, letter by letter. W... e... t... h... e..."

----- Hilary Clinton, writing about Argentinian President Cristina Elisabet Fernández de Kirchner.

5. "I will personally paint 'A Primer on US Nuclear Capability' on the intercontinental nuclear missile we'll launch with the coordinates of his home in its guidance system. Our plan is to launch in December. Bottoms up, f--ker."

----- President Obama, writing about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

4."...I'm a superstitious man. And if some unlucky accident should befall my son - If he should get shot in the head by a police officer, or if he should hang himself in his jail cell - or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning, them I'm going to blame some of the people in this room, and that I do not forgive. But, that aside, let me say that I swear, on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one to break the peace we've made here today."

----- President George H.W. Bush, speaking to the United Nations in closed session six weeks before the 2000 Presidential election.

3."Hilary Clinton: I've kept you alive for two reasons. And the first reason is information.
Saddam Hussein: Burn in hell, blonde bitch! I'll tell you nothing!

Clinton: But I am gonna ask you questions. And every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss. Give me your other arm!"

----- Secret interrogation of Iraq leader Saddam Hussein by then-'Special Envoy' Hilary Clinton, considered the best man for the job.

2."WeN i diE sh0w no piTy sEnd mA z0ul 2 "CRIPZ CITY" diG a h0lE 13ft deEp En LaY bLu flAgz At mA feEt Put 2 shoTguNz Akr0z mA chEzt eN tEl mA h0miEz i diD mA bezt Don't mess w/ me coz one thng is foe sure... yo ain,t kn0w me"

----- President Obama, responding to an email from vice-president Biden, when asked what he wants his legacy to be.

1."She is an inneffective figure-head, but a smoking hot piece of ass. I'll spend my next meeting with her with my head in her lap, licking the preamble to the US Constitution, letter by letter. W... e... t... h... e..."

----- PM David Cameron, writing about Queen Elizabeth II, in a cable to French President Sarkozy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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