Takwana and Anitakapita of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough speak about the Royal Wedding

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

image for Takwana and Anitakapita of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough speak about the Royal Wedding
Fancy a fag?

Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones were interviewed today about their 'take' on the upcoming Royal Wedding.

"Well it's gud innit like? That William getting married to Kate wotsername. 'E's marryin' someone common, like us innit? Soon the Royal family will all just be ord'nary folk like us if this keeps up," said Takwana, grinning, showing off her new gold crowns on her two front teeth.

"Then we'll all be just the same."

"Ah just don't know why there's so much bleedin' fuss though," added Anitakapita, "Them Royals usually end up divorced innit? Wonder 'ow long they'll last? A'll givem four yers."

"Yeah, A know wo' yer mean. A feel it's a bit bloody creepy though, them gettin' married where Lady Di's funeral was 'eld. Wot's all tha' about. A wouldn wanna get married where MY mam's funeral 'ad been. Mind you, she's not dead ye' an' Arm not really married ye' am I? So A s'pose that's destitute," continued Takwana, dragging ever so hard on her fag.

Anitakapita added, " 'Ey! Gizza drag. Arm all ou'. Ta luv. Oh yeah,the weddin'. It's gonna cost us taxpayers millions I 'erd. Bloody cheek. Those freakin' royals never paid a penny t' my weddin'. It were lovely wern' it Takwana? One 'undred guests. The service was conducted by a Rod Stewart look-alike, who WAS ordinated t'do wedd'ns an' stuff.

Then we all went over t'Morrisons for a slap up meal. We go' a discoun' an' all coz we shop their a lo'. They even closed the bloody shop for the wedd'n. Ded gud it were.

Bu' gett'n back to them roysalists - just think o' all the good stuff tha' could be done wi' tha' money. It's a freaking waste if ya ask me coz there's millions of people dying and children as well all over the freakin' werld.

Bloody criminal. Arm embarrassed to be freakin' English A am. Sorry! Gotta go, Corrie's on in two minits."

The two women took off, not wanting to miss their favourite Soap but promising to take part in future interviews.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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