Interview With Afghan Freedom Fighter

Funny story written by kslaught

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Interview With Afghan Freedom Fighter
Some of the Trainers

An important part of the American strategy in Afghanistan is to train the Afghan army. The Spoof had an opportunity to interview one of the trainees, using a translator.

Ken: So, Batoor, how is the training going?

Batoor: Not too bad. The coffee's good and they pay well. Three meals a day, can't complain.

Ken: How about the training itself?

Batoor: Well, those guys in the space suits need to lighten up a little. Haven't they ever heard of breaks? These guys are slave drivers. I hate it when they call me 'soldier'. The first two times I went through training it wasn't nearly as bad.

Ken: The first two times? You have been trained more than once?

Batoor: Don't spread it around, but, yes, I have been trained several times. I desert the army and come back for more training, under a different name. 'Batoor'means 'brave'. Nice sound to it, don't you think?

Ken: Why do you do that?

Batoor: Well, the pay is good and that way I don't get shot at. My family needs the money.

Ken: Don't the Americans ever figure out what you are doing?

Batoor: Fortunately, all us Afghans look the same to them, so they never catch on.

Ken: I was told that you hate the Taliban. Is that true?

Batoor: Absolutely! I also hate foreigners. But you have to make a choice, and the Taliban doesn't pay very well.

Ken: What about the Karzai government, what do think of the government?

Batoor: You mean Karzai the crook? That guy lords it over everybody with all the money he gets from the United States. He's nothing a puppet. What a slimeball. Elections were rigged, everybody knows that.

Ken: If you hate him so much, why would you want to serve in his army?

Batoor: I don't, but since the war started I have no other job. Around here, you hold your nose and take what you can get.

Ken: Thanks, Batoor. I feel much better about our war effort now. good luck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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