Proms: Prom 36 Review

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Friday, 13 August 2010

image for Proms: Prom 36 Review

Berlioz - Overture 'Le Corsaire'
Chopin - Piano Concerto No 2
Roussel - Symphony No 3
Ravel - Daphnis and Chloe, Suite No 2

Nelson Freire, piano
BBC SO, Lionel Bringuier.

Pierre Noxious writes:

OMG! That's a schlep, innit? From High St Ken to the Albert Hall - and back again afterwards when you're in a hurry for the tube and a late dinner. Cor!

And get this - the missus had to shell out nearly sixteen quid for four small (I mean tiny) bottles of Carlsberg (two before the gig and two in the interval)! I'm going to take my own tins next time.

Anyway, last night I saw the job you and me all want: concert pianist. It's like this…

The orchestra come out and do their stuff, chatting and playing around with their instruments before this guy - who turns out to be the conductor - walks onto the stage to a round of applause. They play their first bit (something about a pirate - there's a picture of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack in the programme but I didn't have my reading glasses) and then the pianist comes on.

Now he's something of a star apparently - first played in public at five years old (someone should have told him that no-one likes a smart-arse). But he sits there while the orchestra bashes on with the second bit and then starts playing when it gets quiet. After about half an hour they all stop and everyone thinks it's wonderful. He goes off and - here's the killer - that's it… for the night. Seriously - job done! I have got to get some of that!

Anyway, I thought the music was nice - there were some good tunes and none of the pieces was very long (OMG! We took the in-laws to a Bruckner gig once. Did it ever end? I dunno - we had to leave as mother-in-law felt faint two hours in).

As usual there were some fit babes in the orchestra, but that lass playing the celesta needs to tart up her instrument a bit. From where we sat it looked like two tea chests nailed together. Come on girl - give it a lick of paint and maybe some flowers?

One last thought - to the conductor. Lionel, change your promotional photo, mate. It makes you look well camp.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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