Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 12 July 2010

Hey!

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image for Letters To The Editor - About Fish
A Fish Gasping For Air Or Something.

Sir

Just to say that I quite like fish fingers. Not the cheap ones with the grey stuff inside. I'm talking about the proper ones with chunks of cod fillet inside. Those ones are lovely, especially with a plate of chips and some nice garden peas. A lovely teatime treat which goes nice with a splash of ketchup.

C Birdseye, Lowestoft.

Sir

My dad keeps tropical fish in a big tank. It has a light in it, and some plants, and a sunken ceramic ship and some rocks, and a thing that blows bubbles. He says he keeps them because they're relaxing. They would be! It's me that has to clean the buggers out, and they don't half stink. He just sits on his arse all day long watching them.

J Weissmuller, Eastbourne.

Sir

Houseguests are a bit like fish - they start to stink the place out after about three days.

G Dahmer, Workington.

Sir

I have to disagree with C Birdseye of Lowestoft. I like the cheap fish fingers, especially in a sandwich with some ketchup. I like fishcakes too, but not the posh salmon fishcakes - I'm no toffee-nosed snob, me. I also used to like salmon paste, like you used to get in those little pots, but not that beef paste. That tasted like shit.

A Tupper, Gatesheed.

Sir

Would it be possible for a giant prehistoric shark to emerge from an iceberg alive after a million years, leap out of the ocean and drag down a jumbo jet? I only ask because I've just seen such a thing in a film on the telly and wondered if it was possible, or whether the film maker was just taking the piss.

Thomas Plugg, Padiham.

Sir

I too have a question for your readers: How does a one armed fisherman describe how big his latest catch is?

S Hawking, Oxford.

If you have any fishy tales, or fish related ideas - send them in, Nobody will ever read them, but who cares?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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