I am being very very confused. I am writing for satirical website similar to your wife. Then I am being turned feet over head with many stories about Miley Cyrus being vagina, up her skirt, and with large penis. I am not understanding why I am no longer top of our chart with my amusing cricket stories. Who is Rod Patterson and what do vampires do? I feel it is only fair that we complete on level praying ground.
I will pass this massage on to my line mangler. Thank you very much for your time and the Aintree iron.
Ghupta Sing-Song, Mumbai.
Vot is it mit you arrogant Englischers? You sink zat you are so zuperior to everybody else. Mein Gott! You would never see der German people behaving like your Englander fussbol fans. Ich mean, was is das mit der flag waving unt der outstretched arms ven you score ze goal? You would never see a German behave in zis way. Frankly, der waving of der flags unt der saluting - ve got over zat un long time ago. For Foch's sake.
Otto Von Bismarck, Hamburg
I no like England. Of this I make no secret. Your English girls turn into lobsters when exposed to sunlight. They are also uncouth, and talk too much. In fairness, they usually carry plenty of dinero when they go out, so my amigos and I who hang out at the beach tend to take a the peese and steal their money and credito cards while they are sucking us off at the bus stop. Is no our problemo. Viva las chicas de Inglaterra. Especially Essex.
No para marido. Fuck, no.
Juan, Chiswick, London.
To see more letters - catch up in the Magazine section of theSpoof.com
Or just make them up as you go along.