Auntie Ant

Funny story written by walter

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Ants live a social life like us. Their cities are called colonies. Some are fierce hunters! The rest feed on grains and grasses. Some are farmers; they plant mushrooms and keep cows, aphids, for milk, honeydew. Their team work is excellent. Of course, some of them abduct infants for menial jobs.

Ants have three classes: the queen, the workers, sterile females, and the male ants, which live only a few weeks. Males are hatched form unfertilized eggs.

As you see, we have much in common with the ants, except the fact that the ants have kept a superb integrity ever since they came into existence, but man, the 'crown of creation' seems to be a pirate unfinished copy biblically stolen away by a dissident scientist who rocketed it to the earth, a wrong habitat. Consequently, earth's efficacy for life due to the existence of this terrible pest has been dwindling fast: less food, less oxygen, too much weight on the sore back of the earth.

No wonder if UN's main concern, Agenda 21, is to control the world and "reduce" human population! A number of dignitaries such as Henry Kissinger, send him a get well card, Bill Gates, Professor Eric Pianka …accordingly believes that 'planet Earth would be better off if Mother Nature simply killed off 90 percent of the human population' or as Bill Gates puts it 'Population Reduction', or Pianka, "the solution to this crisis is to eliminate the cause, by decreasing the number of human beings living on Earth from 6.5 billion to around 700 million-a 90 percent reduction.' Too little, Too late.

Since there is an omniscient terrorist group out there that can kill hundreds of people on a daily basis with impunity, of course, in conjunction with earthquakes, tsunami, hurricanes, flood, drought etc, it seems the guardians of human race need, if I may, to direct their kind attention to other guideline available for duplication.

Those who created so many species on earth must have had more that one objective. The questions are: Why all females ants, except the queen, are sterile? Why do male ants come from unfertilized eggs? Why only one supper female is allowed to reproduce? Doesn't that ring a bell?

Disease preventive measures, namely vaccination, better health care systems etc, have resulted in population explosion. This cannot go on for ever!

We need to emulate the ants: sterile the men right now, by means of vasectomy, and let them f*** the females as much as they want, but choose a number of healthiest females and let some supper men impregnate them in confined areas. Statically trace the number of required babies.

Of course, some counties like China can be exempted. As the Mercantile Communist China has already conquered the world's markets by fake cheap products, they badly need to diversify. They are much behind in food export. Therefore, they should be allowed to enter this worldwide market. Let them set up vast farms for the production of their locally most expensive gourmet food, Human Fetus Soup. (Andrew Harding, BBC Radio 4, 23 September 2006)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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