Written by jansal

Friday, 8 January 2010


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image for Use It Or Lose it, Is Warren Beatty's Motto
Entrance sign on Warren Beatty's front door

In an interview with the last of the old time Hollywood Lovers, I approached Mr. Beatty's front gate, trembling from head to toe.

Although I have interviewed many Hollywood greats, Warren Beatty was the heartthrob and secret desire of women everywhere in the world.

Showing my press badge, the security guard pressed the button to alert the Beatty residence that he had company.

I immediately heard the deep toned familiar voice answer, "send her in Jonathan, send her in".

As I approached the main door, I was surprised to see Warren Beatty himself throw open the door with open arms reaching out to me.

I tripped on the first step and literally FELL into his arms.

Laughing heartily, he showed me the way into his massive foyer.

Pictures of his many Hollywood movies were everywhere. A huge portrait of him surrounded by hundreds of women commanded the wall space above the massive stone fireplace.

I was speechless, I couldn't move, I felt like an idiot.

Finally, I was able to move to the large while leather divan that he motioned to.

When he saw that I had become somewhat relaxed, he came to sit next to me. Our bodies were touching and I know he could feel me trembling.

"So my dear" he began. "What exactly did you want to interview me about"?

My tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth and as I tried to speak only squeaking sounds were emitted from my mouth.

Finally I composed myself and was able to do what I had come to do.

"Our reader's want to know how you were able to bed as many women as you have without having trouble with your.....ahhh, your PENIS"!

Mr. Beatty was amused to say the least and leaned closer in to me and said; "Have you never heard the old saying, USE IT OR LOSE IT"?

I guess with as many times as he has used "it" he should never be afraid of losing "it".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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