Meanderings From Billy Bob Thorton's Brother, Duncan Bob

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 30 November 2009

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What's with all these people who want to give you a photograph of their kid, or their grand kid? Like they might mean something to me?

I can understand my own close family, that is the nephews and the nieces but you go to one family function in 20 years and you come home with your pockets stuffed with photographs of kids and you haven't the slightest idea who they are.

I put every one of them on the refrigerator door, just in case one drops by and I can hear it now, "But where's my Alfie's picture?"

I used Alfie to wipe my ass. It was a huge thing. Not my ass, the photograph. Well, my ass is huge too. But those big pics will cause your refrigerator door to fall off.

Even the small pics are half an inch thick as it is.

No kidding. You're at a bar, a drunk strikes up an "Old buddy, old pal" type conversation and you get a photo of his grandchild.

"You keep it buddy. He'll be somebody one of these days. I got more at home."

Oh, goody.

I had an unusual experience this past summer. This young man comes by to deliver some insurance papers for me to sign and he suddenly asks me, "Why do you have my picture when I was three years old on your fridge?"

"I collect them. Why don't you sign yours?"

After all, who knows? A Kenyan made it all the way to the top! Maybe if I had an old one of him...hmmmm.

You know what? I am going through these and pull out every one that remotely resembles some well-known person and sell it on eBay.

Look, here's one now of a British-looking lad. That right there is Robert Pattinson at two years old!

I think I'm onto something here.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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