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Funny satire stories about Horror

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Funny story: London teen catches entire family masturbating

London teen catches entire family masturbating

A 17-year-old girl from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that she walked into the lounge at her home on June 2nd of this year, and found her entire family, including her elderly grandparents, pleasuring themselves in front of the television.

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Funny story: New TV series to go where most shows have gone before

New TV series to go where most shows have gone before

Hollyweird, Californicate – For five or six months now, the world has waited, with bated breath, to learn just how Jordy Pee will handle the reboot of Rod Sterling's iconic television series The Dusky Region. Well, we need wait and wonder no longe...

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Funny story: Man Was Scared Shitless Five Times In As Many Minutes!

Man Was Scared Shitless Five Times In As Many Minutes!

A man who is of a nervous disposition revealed how he was pushed to his 'very limits' last night, when, sitting watching the television, he was startled five times within five minutes. John Perkins, 57, told of how he was quietly viewing the lates...

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Funny story: I Will Sue University Of Texas - Frankenstein

I Will Sue University Of Texas - Frankenstein

Baron Frankenstein is to sue the University of Texas over 100 brains which have allegedly gone missing from its picked brain library. Victor Helmut Frankenstein, 12th Baron Frankenstein has expressed anger at the disappearance, which came to light a...

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Funny story: Bloody Damn Rats

Bloody Damn Rats

The recent death of James Hubbert robbed the UK of one of its most enduring authors. Though Hubbert spent the last twenty years writing milder thrillers, his notoriety rests largely on the shoulders of the violent horror novels he wrote in the late seventies and early nineties, especially the shocking "rats' series: Bloody Damn Rats, Big Bloody Damn Rats, and Even Bigger and Bloodier Damn Rats. Th...

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Funny story: Dean R. Koontz

Dean R. Koontz

Dean R. Koontz, known (by colleague and competitor Stephen King) as "the Stephen King of the West Coast," dissociates himself with horror, saying, "To be a horror writer, one must be a horrible writer." He is not to be confused with his fictional alter ego, horror writer Dean Koontz. Koontz was born in Pennsylvania, under a host of pseudonyms, and conceived the plots of his first 33 novels whi...

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Funny story: The Sucking Pit - By Guy N Smith - A Critical Commentry By Skoob1999

The Sucking Pit - By Guy N Smith - A Critical Commentry By Skoob1999

Introduction Hello there. Some people reading this will know who I am, or at least have heard of me, and some won't. A bit like real life really. Anyway, to cut a long story short, some years ago I came across an author named Guy N Smith, and quickly became a fan. Mr Smith wrote a series of bizarre horror novels for New English Library, and churned them out at a phenomenal rate, quite freque...

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Funny story: Christmas Horror averted by Farmer

Christmas Horror averted by Farmer

Recently deceased Bert Matthews was today found by MI5 with his penis firmly stuck into a turkey. He told secret agents he was saving the world from a festive epidemic of colossal proportions. One of the creatures had passed on an incurable disease t...

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Funny story: Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway

Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway

For most sensible individuals, 9/11 is a day for contemplation, in respect for the feelings of the loved ones of the unfortunate victims of the 2001 outrage. For Martin Shuttlecock, 23, and dashingly handsome in a rakish kind of way, (Complete fab...

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Funny story: Attic Of 150-Year-Old House Allegedly "Scary As Hell!"

Attic Of 150-Year-Old House Allegedly "Scary As Hell!"

KEYPORT, NJ --- A 43-year-old man and his 29-year-old wife were ridiculed relentlessly by their children, ages 4, 3 and 2, because both were reticent about entering the attic of their new home without a flashlight and a semi-automatic weapon. "These old houses are spooky," stated Nicole Rosania, who managed to enter the attic alone after some chiding by her oldest daughter, who begins kinderg...

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Funny story: Stephen King Novel Breaks All Sales Records!

Stephen King Novel Breaks All Sales Records!

Sales of Nolnt, the new novel from master of horror, Stephen King, have broken all records in Middlesbrough, from where the writer hails, with two copies even having been purchased in nearby Redcar. The novel, written entirely in Teesside Fonetix,...

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Funny story: Horror movie survival techniques

Horror movie survival techniques

I am going to take some horror flick scenarios and offer survival techniques. These have all been tried and tested. I think that's how I'd handle the following situations and advise you to do the same: Premise 1 - Apocalyptic world, you're the only human survivor the rest are blood sucking monsters. You're faced with two problems-loneliness and/or destruction. The upside: it's cool to be one of...

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Funny story: Local Man Devastated By Wife's Sordid Secret

Local Man Devastated By Wife's Sordid Secret

Local man Martin Shuttlecock remained in hiding today following the horrific discovery he made Sunday at the Shuttlecock family residence - a discovery which caused him to flee the house screaming, wearing nothing but the clothes he stood up in, and...

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Funny story: Ygor Gets The Hump

Ygor Gets The Hump

Ygor Ekaterinenbogov, star of myriad Hollywood horror movies, usually playing the part of the hunchbacked assistant to a deranged scientist, a body snatcher, or a Cathedral campanologist today expressed in no uncertain terms his deeply felt dissatisf...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 20 - The Final Chapter

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 20 - The Final Chapter

The gang gather in the dilapidated house. Dastardly Deano is nowhere to be seen. Outside the storm rumbles on. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles, the wind howls, and the rain floods down in torrents. "Where'd he go?" Buck shouts. "Fucker disappeared innit," Nick says. Then something strange happens. There's a chattering sound, and the pitter patter of feet on bare floorboar...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19

"Hold it right there!" the skinny guy in the bad suit shouts. He's stood behind a goggle eyed woman, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other holding a knife to her throat. "You take one step...just one step and she's history. I mean it." The woman squeals. Buck, Abel Zorro and Nick exchange furtive glances. Abel Zorro steps forward, AK in one hand, sabre in the other. His eyes na...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 18

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 18

Our friends tread carefully into the dilapidated house. It's a dump, but at least they can hear the raging storm outside, so they understand that they are rapidly approaching freedom... When a voice cuts them all to the quick. As opposed to cutting them to the slow. Which would be taking dramatic license too far. All they could hear prior to this interruption was the sound of their...

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