In honor of today, Friday the 13th (this might be up on the Spoof by summer, but it'll work for any 13th Friday) ... Ladies and gentlemen, the Maestro ... Run for your life Jason’s got a knife He’s coming for you ‘Cuz he saw you screw You…
(NOT EDITED) You name them, and they will always come back and entertain us, or haunt us! Way back in the sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties, psychos ruled the screens locking millions into cinemas and scaring the pants off of film goers!…
(Columbus, OH) In spite of the entire film industry being shut down from California to New York due to the worldwide Coronavirus health crisis, filming began in Ohio for a new fall series tentatively named The Walking Braindead. The series will follo...
Hollyweird, Californicate – For five or six months now, the world has waited, with bated breath, to learn just how Jordy Pee will handle the reboot of Rod Sterling's iconic television series The Dusky Region. Well, we need wait and wonder no longe...
A man who is of a nervous disposition revealed how he was pushed to his 'very limits' last night, when, sitting watching the television, he was startled five times within five minutes. John Perkins, 57, told of how he was quietly viewing the lates...
Baron Frankenstein is to sue the University of Texas over 100 brains which have allegedly gone missing from its picked brain library. Victor Helmut Frankenstein, 12th Baron Frankenstein has expressed anger at the disappearance, which came to light a...
The recent death of James Hubbert robbed the UK of one of its most enduring authors. Though Hubbert spent the last twenty years writing milder thrillers, his notoriety rests largely on the shoulders of the violent horror novels he wrote in the late seventies and early nineties, especially the shocking "rats' series: Bloody Damn Rats, Big Bloody Damn Rats, and Even Bigger and Bloodier Damn Rats. Th...
Dean R. Koontz, known (by colleague and competitor Stephen King) as "the Stephen King of the West Coast," dissociates himself with horror, saying, "To be a horror writer, one must be a horrible writer." He is not to be confused with his fictional alter ego, horror writer Dean Koontz. Koontz was born in Pennsylvania, under a host of pseudonyms, and conceived the plots of his first 33 novels whi...
Introduction Hello there. Some people reading this will know who I am, or at least have heard of me, and some won't. A bit like real life really. Anyway, to cut a long story short, some years ago I came across an author named Guy N Smith, and quickly became a fan. Mr Smith wrote a series of bizarre horror novels for New English Library, and churned them out at a phenomenal rate, quite freque...
Recently deceased Bert Matthews was today found by MI5 with his penis firmly stuck into a turkey. He told secret agents he was saving the world from a festive epidemic of colossal proportions. One of the creatures had passed on an incurable disease t...
For most sensible individuals, 9/11 is a day for contemplation, in respect for the feelings of the loved ones of the unfortunate victims of the 2001 outrage. For Martin Shuttlecock, 23, and dashingly handsome in a rakish kind of way, (Complete fab...
KEYPORT, NJ --- A 43-year-old man and his 29-year-old wife were ridiculed relentlessly by their children, ages 4, 3 and 2, because both were reticent about entering the attic of their new home without a flashlight and a semi-automatic weapon. "These old houses are spooky," stated Nicole Rosania, who managed to enter the attic alone after some chiding by her oldest daughter, who begins kinderg...
Sales of Nolnt, the new novel from master of horror, Stephen King, have broken all records in Middlesbrough, from where the writer hails, with two copies even having been purchased in nearby Redcar. The novel, written entirely in Teesside Fonetix,...
I am going to take some horror flick scenarios and offer survival techniques. These have all been tried and tested. I think that's how I'd handle the following situations and advise you to do the same: Premise 1 - Apocalyptic world, you're the only human survivor the rest are blood sucking monsters. You're faced with two problems-loneliness and/or destruction. The upside: it's cool to be one of...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock remained in hiding today following the horrific discovery he made Sunday at the Shuttlecock family residence - a discovery which caused him to flee the house screaming, wearing nothing but the clothes he stood up in, and...
Ygor Ekaterinenbogov, star of myriad Hollywood horror movies, usually playing the part of the hunchbacked assistant to a deranged scientist, a body snatcher, or a Cathedral campanologist today expressed in no uncertain terms his deeply felt dissatisf...
The gang gather in the dilapidated house. Dastardly Deano is nowhere to be seen. Outside the storm rumbles on. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles, the wind howls, and the rain floods down in torrents. "Where'd he go?" Buck shouts. "Fucker disappeared innit," Nick says. Then something strange happens. There's a chattering sound, and the pitter patter of feet on bare floorboar...
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