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I Will Sue University Of Texas - Frankenstein

Funny story: I Will Sue University Of Texas - Frankenstein

Baron Frankenstein is to sue the University of Texas over 100 brains which have allegedly gone missing from its picked brain library. Victor Helmut Frankenstein, 12th Baron Frankenstein has expressed anger at the disappearance, which came to light a...

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Bloody Damn Rats

Funny story: Bloody Damn Rats

The recent death of James Hubbert robbed the UK of one of its most enduring authors. Though Hubbert spent the last twenty years writing milder thrillers, his notoriety rests largely on the shoulders of the violent horror novels he wrote in the late seventies and early nineties, especially the shocking "rats' series: Bloody Damn Rats, Big Bloody Damn Rats, and Even Bigger and Bloodier Damn Rats. Th...

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Dean R. Koontz

Dean R. Koontz, known (by colleague and competitor Stephen King) as "the Stephen King of the West Coast," dissociates himself with horror, saying, "To be a horror writer, one must be a horrible writer." He is not to be confused with his fictional alter ego, horror writer Dean Koontz. Koontz was born in Pennsylvania, under a host of pseudonyms, and conceived the plots of his first 33 novels whi...

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The Sucking Pit - By Guy N Smith - A Critical Commentry By Skoob1999

Introduction Hello there. Some people reading this will know who I am, or at least have heard of me, and some won't. A bit like real life really. Anyway, to cut a long story short, some years ago I came across an author named Guy N Smith, and quickly became a fan. Mr Smith wrote a series of bizarre horror novels for New English Library, and churned them out at a phenomenal rate, quite freque...

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Christmas Horror averted by Farmer

Funny story: Christmas Horror averted by Farmer

Recently deceased Bert Matthews was today found by MI5 with his penis firmly stuck into a turkey. He told secret agents he was saving the world from a festive epidemic of colossal proportions. One of the creatures had passed on an incurable disease t...

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Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway

Funny story: Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway

For most sensible individuals, 9/11 is a day for contemplation, in respect for the feelings of the loved ones of the unfortunate victims of the 2001 outrage. For Martin Shuttlecock, 23, and dashingly handsome in a rakish kind of way, (Complete fab...

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Attic Of 150-Year-Old House Allegedly "Scary As Hell!"

Funny story: Attic Of 150-Year-Old House Allegedly "Scary As Hell!"

KEYPORT, NJ --- A 43-year-old man and his 29-year-old wife were ridiculed relentlessly by their children, ages 4, 3 and 2, because both were reticent about entering the attic of their new home without a flashlight and a semi-automatic weapon. "These old houses are spooky," stated Nicole Rosania, who managed to enter the attic alone after some chiding by her oldest daughter, who begins kinderg...

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Stephen King Novel Breaks All Sales Records!

Funny story: Stephen King Novel Breaks All Sales Records!

Sales of Nolnt, the new novel from master of horror, Stephen King, have broken all records in Middlesbrough, from where the writer hails, with two copies even having been purchased in nearby Redcar. The novel, written entirely in Teesside Fonetix,...

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Horror movie survival techniques

I am going to take some horror flick scenarios and offer survival techniques. These have all been tried and tested. I think that's how I'd handle the following situations and advise you to do the same: Premise 1 - Apocalyptic world, you're the only human survivor the rest are blood sucking monsters. You're faced with two problems-loneliness and/or destruction. The upside: it's cool to be one of...

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Local Man Devastated By Wife's Sordid Secret

Funny story: Local Man Devastated By Wife's Sordid Secret

Local man Martin Shuttlecock remained in hiding today following the horrific discovery he made Sunday at the Shuttlecock family residence - a discovery which caused him to flee the house screaming, wearing nothing but the clothes he stood up in, and...

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Ygor Gets The Hump

Funny story: Ygor Gets The Hump

Ygor Ekaterinenbogov, star of myriad Hollywood horror movies, usually playing the part of the hunchbacked assistant to a deranged scientist, a body snatcher, or a Cathedral campanologist today expressed in no uncertain terms his deeply felt dissatisf...

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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 20 - The Final Chapter

Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 20 - The Final Chapter

The gang gather in the dilapidated house. Dastardly Deano is nowhere to be seen. Outside the storm rumbles on. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles, the wind howls, and the rain floods down in torrents. "Where'd he go?" Buck shouts. "Fucker disappeared innit," Nick says. Then something strange happens. There's a chattering sound, and the pitter patter of feet on bare floorboar...

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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19

Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19

"Hold it right there!" the skinny guy in the bad suit shouts. He's stood behind a goggle eyed woman, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other holding a knife to her throat. "You take one step...just one step and she's history. I mean it." The woman squeals. Buck, Abel Zorro and Nick exchange furtive glances. Abel Zorro steps forward, AK in one hand, sabre in the other. His eyes na...

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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 18

Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 18

Our friends tread carefully into the dilapidated house. It's a dump, but at least they can hear the raging storm outside, so they understand that they are rapidly approaching freedom... When a voice cuts them all to the quick. As opposed to cutting them to the slow. Which would be taking dramatic license too far. All they could hear prior to this interruption was the sound of their...

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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 17

Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 17

Angie is feeling deflated because she never got the chance to sing her karaoke version of Gloria Gaynor's feminist anthem, 'I Will Survive.' Her nipples haven't given up the ghost just yet though. They're as upstanding as a pair of Chrysler wheel nuts. Boyfriend Todd isn't much consolation either. Not since Angie learned that her mother gave him a blow job. She's really pissed off. "Ba...

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Dean Koontz book writing instructions found!

Funny story: Dean Koontz book writing instructions found!

Newport Beach, California - A small child who lives next door to one of America's most prolific thriller writers, made a startling discovery when he went to Koontz's backyard to retrieve his ball. He found what he thought was a "Mad Lib", but what...

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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 16

Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 16

Todd, and the rest of the gang, led by Abel Zorro, having passed through the trapdoor, slosh along through the sewers in search of Buck, Nick, and Lola of the luscious lips. Fran is sticking mighty close to Abel Zorro, who in turn is marching into the darkness with the sound of dripping water assaulting his eardrums. Abel Zorro has a sense of purpose. All he wants to do is find Buck and Nick an...

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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 15

Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 15

Johnny Boy has been decapitated by an unseen hand. Lola of the luscious lips has disappeared in mysterious circumstances. Buck and Nick were swallowed up by a trapdoor, and although we know they're okay, the others don't. The others have found themselves in a charnel house, a house of horrors so loathesome it makes the house in 'Texas Hacksaw Massacre' look like the average person's Gran'...

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