Singer David Crosby Remembers(?) Woodstock

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 21 August 2009


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Those were the days, my friend.

Actually, I recall very little except being there and being ...a little fuzzy. I think it was Crosby, Stills and Nash, that was us, our second performance.

Of course, I'm Nash so I had to be there.

Wait a, I'm Crosby.

Remember all that was before I got arrested for drugs and put in prison for fleeing on my boat and Crosby loaning me all that money and ..Nash loaned me all that money and that lady singer who's a lesbian made me come twice so I could father their two kids.

And Woodstock was before all that.

I blame all that crap on George Bush! Stole my liver, the son of a snnnoozzeee...

But that was AFTER Woodstock. Boy, has my hair gone gray or what? I look like David Crosby, that drug head from the 1960's Byrds.

Oh, yeah, that's because of that being who I am. It all makes sense now. Yep!

But sometimes after Woodstock somebody gave me their liver. Wasn't that nice of them? People are great. Graham Nash, what a guy. I had to sell all my stuff to pay for drugs, fines, liver and Nash bought it at an auction and gave it back to me when I got out of jail.

Stephen Stills never done shit. Probably voted for George Bush..Twice!

But Tommy Chong is worse than Graham Nash. They put this bracelet on my ankle. Now ain't that the law for you? Put a bracelet on my ankle. Wonder they didn't put shoes on my hands.

So it was house arrest..but all I did was to call the guys up and they'd come to MY house "Our house, is a very, very, very fine house..with two cats in the yard...I wrote that...or was it Neil Young?...where was I..OH! That idiot Tommy Chong got lost and asked a policeman where I lived while he was all messed up.

So there's Chong and the police on my doorstep, "You got anymore drugs, Crosby. This friend I found wants some.

But Woodstock, boy waszzzzzzzzzzz.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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