Life Begins at Forty

Written by birbee

Friday, 10 July 2009

They say that life begins at forty.

Does anyone know who 'they' are? And more (or less) to the point, what happens before you reach forty, according to 'them'.

Last weekend, I was in Wells market. I am not forty yet, so how was this possible?

Wells, for those of you who don't know, is England's smallest city. A beautiful place with it's fair share of old people and the best olives and sun dried tomatoes you can buy outside of Italy.

Maybe the two facts above are linked, maybe they are not.

For those readers out there who did know that Wells is England's smallest city then please don't read the last two paragraphs.

The burning question here is; how did I manage to buy the olives before the age of forty if my life has yet to begin?

A recent survey proved beyond reasonable doubt that some people have children in their thirties. Some in their twenties and some in their teens.

Does this mean then, that as the parents don't exist, as they are under forty and therefore have yet to begin their life, then neither do the children?

If you have, for example, two ex-wives, each with two of your children who were all born whilst you were yet to begin your life, do you have to pay maintenance for them if they cannot exist as your life has not begun.

If you had a child when you were eighteen (which, following this logic, is impossible) and that child bore offspring when they were eighteen, would the grandchild exist?

A team of highly dubious 'experts' are about to investigate why the French refuse to acknowledge that custard exists.

Maybe the two are related.

Who knows?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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