Evolution's Missing Link: Man-Monkey Found in Nigeria

Written by Anietie Ukpe

Thursday, 21 May 2009

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Professor Idris Dambusa claims to have found the missing link in the Theory of Evolution and believes his find will seal the argument and turn the theory into the Law of Evolution.

The link, according to him, is in a man in his community known as Man-Monkey who is so disfigured by athritis and other bone disorders that he looks half-man and half-monkey. The extremely hairy man has long limbs and a small trunk and could identify with man or chimp. Dambusa says he is the bridge between man and monkey the world has been looking for.

"Man-monkey has been battling with arthritis for a long time and I figure the disease wanted to use him and prove the theory for the rest of us. This seals the argument and will prove that blood is thicker than saliva," says the excited professor. He explained what he meant by "blood is thicker than saliva" by saying resemblance is more important than communication in the theory of evolution.

He is willing to subject the man for studies and thinks this would save the time of scientists who are always searching for fosils of such people who died long ago to "fill" the missing link.

"This is live! This is history in motion! This is the missing link!!! This is the bridgehead of the theory," he exclaims excitedly.

He believes that a live man would do the study more good than fossils and should be of great interest to the scientific community. THe scientific community, he maintains, should scout for disfigured men like Man-Monkey instead of looking for the "fossils" of such men who died thousands of years ago.

"Who knows, I could win the Nobel prize for this. But I need the cooperation of the Man-Monkey and I am willing to share the glory with him when I win the prize." He intones.

Man-Monkey, whose real name is "Danbi Buki," says he had ordinary parents but just got monkey-like after the protracted illness. He does not believe that his parents were monkeys - though he has nothing personal against monkeys. "I love bananas as much as they do," he said, "but I cannot climb trees."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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