Written by Anietie Ukpe

Thursday, 21 May 2009

image for Evolution: Putting your faith in accidents

I choose to believe in God rather than in accidents (sorry, I mean evolution.) I have been in an accident before and I have seen a handful of other accidents. They is nothing nice or beautiful about accidents. If in doubt ask any survivor of a plane crash. What you see is the wreckage and nothing else. No order, no beauty, no purpose.

It can not be an accident that some cells accidentally came together and became a living organism - and ever since no cells have come together again to become living organisms.

Simply because you look like a chimpanzee does not make you one - or the son or daughter of one. You are the way you are because you are the product of two ugly people who ought to have known better than to marry each other. An ugly person should strive to marry a good-looking person.

I think the world is too wonderful and the people are too beautiful - it and they does not look like an accident to me. Remember, I have been in one accident before and escaped death by the whiskers.

Like Sir Fred Hoyle said, it is as hard to believe in evolution as it is to believe that a hurricane blowing through an airplane junk yard could assemble an airplane.

I figure I simply do not have enough faith to believe in evolution, so I will rather believe in God. That my faith can handle!

Scientist claim to know better, yet they do not know the cure for something like AIDS. And yet they expect me to believe them that they know the origin of all things.

I will believe evolution some day - if I go insane and begin to believe in the beauty of accidents.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more