Written by Bureau

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

image for Top 15 Things Most People Didn't Know Were In New Trillion Dollar Bailout Plan

$100 for Snuggie for Senator Byrd.

$2,000 for four cases of Beano for Senator McCain if he'll stop saying, "I just blew you a kiss."

$200,000 to keep Cindy Sheehan camped outside Bush ranch.

$1,000,000 for Jeremiah Wright to shut his yap about America's chickens coming to roost.

$150 for new basketball goal set up in White House basement.

$20,000 to provide Senator Craig his own private bathroom.

$200 for Obama's mother-in-law's special hemorrhoid cushion.

One Billion Dollars for "Petty Cash" during overseas fact-finding trips.

$100,000 refill Bill Clinton's secret escape tunnel below the White House.

$10,000 for bolt to go through John Kerry's neck to hold huge head upright.

$100,000,000 to purchase embarrassing photos like one of American hero Michael Phelps trying to swim across shower floor.

$20,000 for extra skin so Pelosi can blink her eyes after all those botox treatments.

$75 for corn plaster for Senator Byrd.

$12 to Barack Obama's brother's to double his regular year's earnings.

$15,000 for long line in sand so Florida voters can either step across or stay on other side, to cast vote from now on.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: 10 Things, bailout

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