Cosy evenings for two beside the fire? Romantic nights watching a slushy DVD with nibbles?
No I am talking about staying in, on your own, and enjoying the results of a couple bottles of the local convenience store's cheap plonk.
A survey of one has revealed that the preferred evening consists of staying at home, with no company, and frequenting internet chatrooms and forums once intoxicated.
According to the survey, after three bottles of 'Kumala Shiraz-Cabernet Sauvignon', the ability to be attractive, both physically and sexually, is all in the mind but also in the perception of the drinker.
This is especially apparent in the minds of men who are experiencing their second marriage break-up and who have at least four children, two from each marriage.
Alternatives to this lifestyle are not currently known, but suggestions are welcome to the usual address, on a postcard or the back of a sealed envelope.
Unfortunately we cannot reply to any correspondence.
Winners will not be announced.