Oz Clark admits wine is just 'alcoholic grape juice'

Written by ScottThe Dot

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Oz Clark admits wine is just 'alcoholic grape juice'
Any Wine House will tell you - its fake like WWE

Wine boffin Oz Clarke today let the cat out of the bag and exposed the Wine World's biggest secret - it's all a pile of pretentious tosh.

At a press conference today the 83 year-old TV host and acknowledged wine expert admitted ' We make it up. All that talk of 'hints of oak' and 'whiff of cranberry' is just made up to shift bottles of alcoholic grape juice. Actually its all the same just different colours, different bottles.'

He continued 'People will believe whatever you tell them and if you convince them that paying £200 for a Chateau Niff de Paps is normal then everybody in the wine business gets rich. Personally I get a box of Sainsbury's Table wine every week and it does me fine. It's all the same stuff.'

Jilly Goulden was today quoted as saying 'Bugger. We've been rumbled. Scarper!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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