o All thieves who during work somehow inflicted pain, injuries, wounds etc to the victims
o All pickpockets, purse-snatchers, automobile thieves
o All ex-presidents, vice presidents, prime ministers, ministers, high-ranking civil service personnel, senior and junior government officials, convicted, scot-free or at large
o Anyone convicted, or pending, of money laundry or keeping an account in Switzerland to divert the commissions paid by foreign companies to the account
o All government contractors who have sub-contracted at least five times to pocket an easy earned money through favoritism
o All custom officials, state-subsidized schools, academia, drug traffickers
o All business men who have been convicted of dishonoring checks
o Anyone who somehow throughout the long history of mankind has been recognized, formally or informally, as some kind of thief
Booing again rose. Someone raised a hand to speak. The announcer permitted him to voice his complaint.
o Sir, you must be joking. You have wasted our time. If none of the categories you mentioned is qualified, then who the hell is? Would you please tell us what the remuneration of the new King is? The announcer, turning red, said:
o For the first time and the last, I hereby announce that if you or anyone else here ever showed any contempt or disrespect toward this highly respected gathering or the honorable justices or juries, he will be handcuffed, taken away and kicked off into a dungeon. Understood? Anyway, as to the remuneration, I can say it is going to be a 20% commission on each case of proven theft or robbery to be paid by the thief. Next, the announcer resumed his instruction:
o Now, if you feel you are qualified, please, raise your right hand, and the men in charge of long-handle microphones will come to you, and we all hear your qualifications. At this moment, someone raised his hand. A microphone handler standing at the end of the row, brought the microphone to the speaker's mouth. The man said:
o I believe I am qualified.
o What's your jurisdiction, sir?
o Of course, a thief. I am nick-named the new Sindbad. I am as quick as lightening; as quiet as a mouse; I can climb the walls like spider man; I operate like a ghost; never been caught by police; therefore, my hand has not be amputated: my specialty is retrieving any cleverly concealed jewelry in the house. During work, I have never hurt a fly; I am very moral when it comes to out-of- wedlock love. If I find a man and a woman in bed nude, first thing I do is pull the bed sheet over them. Then, I go on with the business. How come I am not qualified to contest?
