The following is one half of a real conversation between an IT support person and a customer. The other half of the conversation is left to the imagination.
The company and names have been removed.
"Good afternoon, IT Support, how can I help you?"
"Right. It sounds like the application has crashed. First, you'll need to close the application."
"Click the picture in the top corner."
"Move the mouse over the picture and double click."
"It's a piece of plastic on the end of a wire next to your keyboard. It's got two buttons on the top."
"The flat thing with all the letters on."
"Right, you've found it. When you move it an arrow will move on the screen."
"You have to keep it flat on the desk."
"Good. Make the arrow go over the picture in the top corner."
"Excellent. Now click the left button twice."
"You have to do it faster than that."
"I'll tell you what, press the key with ALT on it, and the one with F4 on it."
"No, that's on the keyboard."
"Yes, the letters thing."
"It should be beside the space bar."
"The long thin one."
"A L T."
"No, it's just one key."
"Good. press that and F4 together."
"At the top of the keyboard, between F3 and F5."
"No, keep ALT pressed while you press F4. You may need to put the phone down to do it."
"Hello? Stupid prat."
