So politicians now admit
That as students they smoked some …drugs
In history, I think you'll find
That others have been so inclined
The following may not be true
If named offenders wish to sue
'Cos everyone's tried marijuana
From Genghis Khan to Wayne Fontana (and The Mindbenders)
William the Conqueror stubbed out a roach
As Hastings shore he did approach
The Mona Lisa's smile is due
To dope she smoked from Katmandhu
Queen Victoria was not insane
When she used hemp for period pain
(Relief of royal menstrual tension
Is surely worth a little mention)
And it is rumoured that Sir Cliff
Enjoys a pre-performance spliff
He rarely can get through a song
Without inhaling on a bong
Tommy Cooper's cannabis resin
Stayed in a box he kept his fez in
And Lester Piggott rolled a joint
As on he rode from point-to-point
And Rupolph Nureyev's pirouettes
Were fuelled by herbal cigarettes
And Pele, he preferred to pass
On astroturf, if offered grass
Bill Clinton liked to smoke some hash
While Monica lit up his stash
The two of them would get quite mellow
He was a most obliging fellow
And did you know George W B
Partakes of skunk each day at three?
This could explain that inane grin
And never knowing what country he's in
Who would have thought that old John Reed
Was partial to a bit of weed
So tell me, why the big surprise
When governments hit lows and highs
To find they are just normal folk
Who could not once resist a toke
So when the next White Paper comes out,
It'll be a Rizzla, I've no doubt.
