Things To Do With 1,000 Bras

Written by Captain Ropeburn

Saturday, 1 November 2008

image for Things To Do With 1,000 Bras

16. Thanks to you, scarecrows nationwide will now get in touch with their feminine side.

15. At Halloween: "Here's a piece of candy for you, and a little something for your Mom."

14. You and 999 of your cross-dressing friends smuggle 2,000 cantaloupes out of the Piggly Wiggly.

13. Make 2000 lacy yarmulkes with safety chinstraps.

12. 1) Dump them in a pile.
2) Remove clothes.
3) Roll ar... um, I mean "Donate them to a women's shelter."

11. Stitch them together, tie them between two trees, and use them as a launch vehicle for the National Missile Defense System. Twice as effective than the one they're testing now!

10. Get 1000 mannequins and start practicing, Poindexter.

9. Creative wallpapering for the "Hobbies and Recreational Activities" wing of the Clinton Presidential Library.

8. Time to re-stock the J. Edgar Hoover Museum gift shop!

7. "999 bras on the wall, 999 bras. Take one down and pass it around, 998 bras on the wall..."

6. "Attention, Rochester: ALL YOUR BRAS ARE BELONG TO US."

5. Put a check beside "Phase I" of your plan to build 1,000 Britney Spears robots.

4. Bury Tom Jones once and for all.

3. Pick out the largest and start looking for Cinderella.

2. 1) Position friend atop skyscraper with bras.
2) Do "Native American Lingerie Dance" on sidewalk until large crowd gathers.
3) Give the secret signal and wait for hilarity to ensue.

1. Hold them hostage until bra-less Victoria's Secret models storm your house to get them -- and since you're dreaming anyway, they'll bring beer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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