20. A roll: Feed all the contestants on "Americas Next Top Model."
19. Green bean casserole: Add another layer of hilarity to the whoopee cushion planted for Monday's staff meeting!
18. Gravy: Surprise snowball centers!
17. Drumstick: Great for beating your timid Democratic congressman over the head with.
16. Turkey carcass: Just a coat of Krylon away from being a sturdy battle helmet.
15. Gravy: Keep the turkey baster handy too. Together they might come in handy in case water boarding is ever ruled to be illegal.
14. Turkey: A few days after Thanksgiving, it becomes an amazingly effective appetite suppressant.
13. Mashed potatoes: Spackle substitute.
12. Raw turkey neck: The grand kids never tire of the old "detachable penis" bit.
11. Jell-O salad: Before indulging her Christmas wish, let your insecure 16-year-old test-drive a couple of DD implants at school for a week.
10. Green bean casserole: Use to lubricate the garbage disposal.
9. Drumstick: Marital aid for her. Pie, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, etc.: Marital aids for him.
8. Turkey: Perfect for invading Iraq!
7. Giblet gravy: The world's best fake vomit, plus it can be used to induce *actual* vomiting!
6. Yams: Comedy prop to be used during your Popeye impression.
(Carrot Top only)
5. Turkey: Send to lab. Extract steroids and growth hormones.
Feed Barry Bonds.
4. Cranberry sauce: Spread gently on head of baby; have toddler pose nearby with brick; wait for the hilarity of Mom's scream.
3. What could possibly be better than a bean-bag chair?
A *gravy*-bag chair.
2. Dark meat: Add a little bleach and you've got white meat, Jacko-style!
and the Number 1 Little-Known Use for Leftover Thanksgiving Food...
1. What's a 'leftover'?
