10 Absolute truths of the 2008 Presidential race!

Written by shea lo

Thursday, 4 September 2008

1. Barack Obama is DEFINITELY 100% Muslim.

1. Bristol Palin is ABSOLUTELY the mother of her
brother Trig.

2. John McCain is a Manchurian candidate.

2. Barack Obama is a front man for Black militant

3. Michelle Obama is an angry black woman dying to be
First Lady so she can destroy America.

3. Cindy McCain is actually a Stepford wife.

4. Sarah Palin is just an utterly inexperienced bimbo,
Annie Oakley, baby-making machine.

4. Barack Obama has been chosen by Gawd to lead America
out of its wilderness.

5. JFK was a faithful and devoted husband to his wife
Jackie - hence Dems must return America to his 'values'.

5. George 'Dubya' Bush actually graduated top of his class
at Harvard.

6. John McCain was not shot down in Vietnam. He bailed
out and partied at the Hanoi Hilton.

6. Obama is 100% not afraid to stand onstage with Muslim
leaders and hijab-wearing women.

7. Caroline Kennedy had the smarts to vett Dem veeps all
by her lil ole self with absolutely no input from uncle

7. Michelle Obama really, really really loves America.

8. Obama's 'life' in Indonesia from the ages of 6-10
qualifies him to sit down and talk to all world leaders
8. Sarah Palin's ability to shoot baskets better than
Obama makes her more fit for the office of US Prez.

9. Obama's multiple half-siblings, born-out-of-wedlock to
a Muslim father should be of no concern to the media.

9. 17 year old Sarah Palin's pregnancy is a bigger shocker
than Obama Senior's numerous illegitimate offspring.

10. Dems will be the only party to make history by dumping
an experienced. White-older-woman for a naive,
inexperienced, half-black male Prez nominee.

10. Republicans will make true history for dumping an
Orthodox Jewish-White-male, previous-Dem-veep nominee
for a White unknown, forty-five year-old, ex-beauty
pageant winner cum gun-toting, anti-abortionist
soon-to-be grand-mother.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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