Dangerous Pirate Boards USS Lincoln

Written by Walt

Thursday, 1 May 2008

image for Dangerous Pirate Boards USS Lincoln
Codpiece-in-Chief Struts the Deck

May 1, 2003, aboard the USS Lincoln (CVN 72), President George W. Bush (xliii) stood under a banner (Mission Accomplished), in a naval aviator's combat flight suit (sporting a 12-inch codpiece, which was probably a urine bag for when he pissed himself), after his first trap (lingo for successful landing on an aircraft carrier), and stated that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended" declaring that "the battle of Iraq is one victory in a war on terror that began on September the 11, 2001 -- and still goes on." A sorry victory, indeed.

Five years ago, as the sailors applauded, periodically, the Pretendisent, on his fool's errand, blathered away about military success in Iraq. Meanwhile the aircraft carrier bobbed peacefully in the calm Pacific waters about 30 miles out from San Diego CA USA. Reporters covering this incredible spectacle failed to note that the staged event was a simple-minded public relations effort without even a shred of "truth" or "truthiness."

Currently, on May 1, 2008, the President's press secretary said that the banner was originally intended to read "mission accomplished for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission." Apparently, the banner maker ran out of cloth & the screen printer ran out of ink, so the short message had to be hung from the combat direction center, below the bridge--instead of wrapping the long version all the way around the ship.

Later, a naval officer claimed that the banner had been devised by the ship's crew to declare success for their tour of duty in the Persian Gulf, & nearby sunny seas, on a vacation cruise, as the air squadrons bombed Iraq. Sadly & stupidly, the White House propaganda team had already bragged to reporters about their own soiled hands in getting the Mission Accomplished stage-prop produced, presented & fastened up to be an exact backdrop for TV cameras.

However, in some images of the background to the speechifying President, it is possible to see the sigmalman's international flag hoist. At top is the US flag, below it is the pirate symbol--a white skull & crossbones on a black rectangle. The far starboard notched red flag (Bravo) shows "carrying dangerous cargo." The far port flag (November), (looking like the checkered "winner" for auto racing), means "abandonment, return to shore." Apparently, White House staffers thought the symbolic flags were just some meaningless pretty pennants, flapping in the breeze like Bush's lying lips.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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