And Man Created a God in his Own Image

Funny story written by walter

Monday, 28 April 2008

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

We all know that the union of a human egg and sperm is called fertilization. For this process to properly materialize, in addition to a mind set, some physical conditions are required.

A powerful blowpipe is priority number one. Next, sufficient pushing or , if you like, squeezing, on the part of the male, and firmly pulling or rather pressing down, on the part of the female is needed to cut the distance short.

I am afraid, resorting to aphrodisiac food or agents, or other tricks do not genuinely contribute to the final objective, true union.

Additionally, this action turns disastrous when timing is incorrect. The best time to carry out this mission is when the egg owner is sufficiently mature, 18-20, and the ovum has reached its peak of life, which last only 18 to 24 hours, after which it dies and the death is mourned by a painful landslide.

It is not easy for the female to find a perfect match should she follow the traditional norms of walking down the isle and 'you may kiss the bride, now'. Society needs to give the couple a chance to find a true match.

Therefore, a military style review is needed when all volunteer males line up, stark naked, and the female, naked, too. She must be kept within an inner circle while the males remain in the parameter, separated by razor blade barbed wire.

If the female is perfectly healthy, at the time the ovum reaches its peak of maturity, the female's instinct takes over the control of the situation and she innately recognizes the true gene carrier. Now, she automatically halts in front of the right male, who should have abstained from sex for at least a fortnight . At this moment, both the female and the male stand still, while their eyes are interlocked, the two of them trembling with excitement.

Now, the guards must allow the picked male to enter the inner arena, while the rest of the candidate males as well as the viewers remain silent in the outer ring.

What they see is as follows: eyes wide open, intense body scent rising, heat radiating, heartbeat pounding; rapid respiration, steel hard blowpipe, raised nipples, sparkling eyes, quivering lips and wide-open dripping orifice, all in all, augmented by presence of the watchful crowd.

And when that fusion takes places, just like an atomic fusion, a man is created in the shape of god.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more