Failure vs Success

Funny story written by joeybabe25

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

I was thinking about the difference between failure and success as I did my paper route this morning. Oh, how I fear success! That seductress who comes to me, only to bray to the world just how ugly I am. Creepy with hypnotic eyes, out only for my already withered soul. Withered from trying to capture the thing that frightens me most. But I want it. The satisfaction of work well done and the money to dig a hole to hide from my hovering bitch.

Success is complicated. It is the thrill ride where you are never "this tall" but you get on anyway. On the other hand, failure is disgrace. But it is also relief. Failure means never having to top yourself. Failure is a warm bed; even if the warmth is your own pee. Failure is loose shoes. It is that warm, moist place where you are most comfortable with you. You can't go wrong with failure. You're already there.

In theory, failure allows you the possibility that you will get better. Success is it. Time to move along to the next challenge. Failures don't see it that way. This time you may succeed. And as Curly Howard said "if at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do. And so, a tip of the hat to the world's failures. Without you guys, it would be mighty cold out here.

Joe Postove

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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