Hillary Clinton for President: Reasons Why She Will Win

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Sunday, 20 May 2007

Below are some reasons why Hillary Clinton will win the 2008 Presidential Election:

1. She's got more money than anyone else. I don't know why people give her money, and I'm not asking. It's like making sausage ....

2. She knows how to work the media spotlight better than anyone. Certainly better than that French twit everyone was comparing her to. At least Hillary let her man be President first.

3. Experience - she's seen it all baby.

4. Her last name is not Bush.

5. She'll take out anyone who gets in her way. Remember Vince Foster? Yeah, he shot himself in the back of the head three times, and then dragged himself 100 feet.

6. She has that great policy agenda that will stir the hearts of all Americans. Oh, wait ... no that's John Edwards. Well, I'm sure she's got some policy plans out there somewhere.

7. You can say her name without laughing, unlike that Obama Slama Pajama guy. This gets her past the 40% who can't say her name without frowning too.

8. Her haircuts cost more than John Edwards, but in her case they're worth it. You don't want to see her in the morning man.

9. Bill will sleep with any women voters who promise to vote for Hillary. Okay, and even if they won't.

10. The biggest reason of all - the Republicans have to deal with the Bush legacy, and somehow Hillary gets away with supporting the war.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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