Lament of the Broken River Guide

Written by King David

Sunday, 26 November 2006

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There are two sides to every profession
the side you like and the one of digression
And, "oh" it's no different for your river guide
It's not all glamour, it's not all glory
When the waters low well it's a different story
On some days you just gotta find a place to hide

(Chorus)'Cause when the water's low
you're the tidy bowl man
Cleaning out the bathrooms
and sweeping the vans
When the water's up
you're back in the saddle again
Running throught the rapids
just as fast as you can
blowing through the holes
like a superman
You're body's loose
You're boat is a rubber band

Well, some people they call you on their cell phones
When they're out on the river floating all alone
They just want to tell you that they're stuck
Well, I've never seen a canoe that could make it down
the river carrying so much brew
And you call 'em back just to say
"You're shit out of luck!"

Chorus

You may have heard of the movie, "Deliverance"
You might have said to yourself, "those hillbillies
didn't have any sense."
Ah, but who was stranded in the end?
It's one thing to live your life
a fool in nature on the edge of your knife
But it's another thing trying to cover up all of those lies.

chorus

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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