Kathy Griffin Hates Lady Gaga's New Song "Bluffin' With My Muffin"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 23 September 2011

image for Kathy Griffin Hates Lady Gaga's New Song "Bluffin' With My Muffin"
A photo of Lady Gaga's pet cat named "Muffin." (Photo courtesy of Clay Aiken).

VENICE BEACH - Kathy Griffin the star of the cable show My Life On The D-List was spotted down at Venice Beach, where the 50-year-old was sporting a brand new tiny pink string bikini swimsuit as she strutted her stuff on the shoreline.

Griffin was recently interviewed by Tahiti Zeppelin, a reporter with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres. The woman who is known as "The Red Cougar" was asked if she has gotten into any feuds with any celebrities lately.

Kathy grinned, as she dabbed at her fiery red hair with her pink cottton-candied fingers, and replied that just yesterday she had gotten into a bit of a tiff at a local Pizza Doll Restaurant in Avocado Heights with none other than Lady Gaga.

She said that she was just sitting there minding her own business eating a pizza that had been run through the garden when suddenly Lady Gaga walked in.

And she was accompanied with her entourage which included her make up artist, her hair stylist, her publicist, her bass guitarist, her masseuse, and the woman whose job it is to constantly tell her that she is a truly fantastically gifted artist who makes other celebrities such as Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, and even Shakira pale by comparison.

The Gaga party sat at a large extended booth which was right across from where Griffin sat all by herself since her hair stylist was in La Habra attending a gay quinceanera, her make up artist was attending a gay appreciation parade in West Hollywood, her publicist was taking a tour of the White House, and her masseuse had quit after Kathy had told her half a dozen times to please not touch her G-spot and yell out "Whose-got-a-pret-ty-G-spot? Ka-thy-has-a-pret-ty-G-spot."

After about ten minutes Lady Gaga's bass guitar player approached her as she sat all alone and told her that Gaga felt sorry for her and realized that it must be hell not having any friends due to the fact that she is always cutting down people and acting like your basic plain, everyday bitch skank.

And so he asked her to join Lady Gaga's party. Griffin put the slice of pizza that she was eating down and shouted out in a voice loud enough for Lady Gaga to hear that she would much rather eat all alone than to be surrounded by the likes of the losers that were sitting at the long booth.

A chorus of "Bite me's" rang out. Griffin then stood up and said in an even louder voice that she had just heard Lady Gaga's new song "Bluffin' With My Muffin" and said she hated it and wondered why on earth she had recorded a song that sounded like it had been written by Lindsay Lohan while she was high on Hostess Twinkies.

Lady Gaga stood up and walked over to Griffin's table. She leaned in getting in her face and remarked, "Let me tell you something sphincter face, you have all the charm and personality of one of Cloris Leachman's toe nails. You look like you were run over by a swamp air boat, and the only way that you could possibly ever get a guy is if you took a picture of my muffin and posted on the Internet and told everyone that it's yours.

At that point the manager stepped in and told the two to get out of his restaurant because he caters to normal people and does not appreciate celebrity types coming in and scaring the little kids and some of the immature adults patrons.

Article Tidbit: Lady Gaga's new song "Bluffin' With My Muffin" was actually co-written by Kara DioGuardi who wrote the music and believe it or not Vice-President Joe Biden who wrote the lyrics.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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