MTV Announces Groudbreaking Reality Series Featuring Videos of People Playing Music

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Tuesday, 28 June 2011


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New York, NY - In a nation infatuated with social buzz and trends, few brands or organizations have matched the extensive duration of influence seen by MTV. After a decade of distancing their network from its original roots faster than a Black Republican, MTV executives have now unveiled plans to reconnect with the musical origins it represented during its conception.

To symbolize this revolutionary step in content, MTV has officially unveiled details about their ground-breaking new reality show titled "Vidz."

MTV's Director of Marketing, Jason Gregory, spoke with the press about the revolutionary concept:

"People, I'm here today to change the face of music, television and even Music-Television. Imagine a world where you can hear your favorite song, and instead of checking your facebook or reading some dumb shit YouTuube comment, you can actually view the artists on your television screen...Holy fuck, right? Well, consider it done!"

Gregory elaborated on the groundbreaking concept, explaining that "Vidz" would showcase two hour blocks of what MTV refers to as "Video Music." While perplexed onlookers basked in the borderline orgasmic idea, MTV offered previews of already recorded Video Music segments.

While most of the segments were simply taped recording sessions, MTV claims the sky is the limit, explaining Video Music segments could eventually become a new art form, with some potentially providing a cinema-like theme or even mini-movies!

While cultural icons like "The Situation" and "Other People" have helped MTV reach a previously unconscionable level of notoriety and social influence, numerous television critics have attacked the network for intentionally catering to our societies most embarrassing and remedial citizens, or more simply, "fucking retards."

Joe Hingleberg of USA Today has leveled particularly vocal criticism against MTV's recent programming, specifically their focus on a cesspool of promiscuous female teenagers who compensate for a general lack of redeeming qualities by consuming the maximum amount of semen their gaping adolescent vagina's can physically withstand without imploding.

"It just seems like MTV is sending a mixed message to their viewers. I'm all for increasing awareness of teenage pregnancy, I think you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who isn't, however the merits and impact of your lessons don't really hold water when they're immediately followed by a show featuring video testimonials from a mulatto midget who just performed cunnilingus on a bi-curious deaf girl who may, or may not, have been born a man."

While "Vidz" seems like pure gold on paper, MTV is cautious about the adaptation process for their viewers who have a tendency to hate things until enough of their peers have also accepted it. The new series is set to premiere next Tuesday at 10 pm.

Although they will stick to their usual programming strategy by replaying the same episode for 36 straight hours, MTV is strongly encouraging viewers to tune in for the premiere or risk being socially alienated by those fucking sluts you so desperately wish you could be.

Later in the evening, an MTV spokesperson closed his session with the media on an inspiring note:

"We can't wait to unveil some of these revolutionary Video Music segments featuring the biggest artists in the world of music. At MTV we're committed to bringing the best possible television programming to your living room. Our groundbreaking new series showcases our distinct ability to strategically implement the same shit we played a decade ago in a shiny new package. It's a fool-proof plan because if anyone mentions that we're just rehashing the same bullshit over and over, we can just call them a "fag" for being an adult who watches MTV. Oh shit, I mean, "It Gets Better."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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