Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 3 June 2011

image for Cameron Diaz Sez Alex Rodriguez Doesn't Understand Off-Field Fly Rule
View From Left Field

The New York Daily News reports that Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz have broken up, allegedly because he still doesn't understand the fundamental application of the not-so-complicated Off-Field Fly Rule. This rule admonishes ball players to keep their fly closed and to proceed at their own risk when attempting to advance to the next base when off the baseball field.

Since breaking up with his wife, the 35-year-old Rodriguez has dated and broken up with Kate Hudson, Madonna, and now, Cameron Diaz. Not afraid to cast his lot with slightly used women; Hudson is 32, Diaz is 38, Madonna a over-ripe 52 with arms which appear at least twice her age, he reportedly has strayed from his base, even when the umpire has called the Off-Field Fly Rule.

As an example of how fickle love is, it was just a few months ago that millions of viewers watched Cameron hand-feed Alex popcorn in a luxury box at the Super Bowl on national televison.

According to a "source" Diaz feels hurt and betrayed because ARod failed to observe the Off-Field Fly Rule while on a long road trip.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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