The Real Reason Why Scarlett Johansson Dumped Sean Penn

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 3 June 2011

image for The Real Reason Why Scarlett Johansson Dumped Sean Penn
Sean Penn shown at his 50th birthday party last August 17, 2010. (Photo by Charlie Sheen).

MALIBU BEACH - The May-December romance between Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson barely lasted half a season before the blonde star ended it.

Johansson, who is 26, first gained movie fame for her film portrayal in The Horse Whisperer, which was based on the life of horse trainer Breckenridge LaPlantation, who had a habitual case of laryngitis.

Johansson also appeared in The Nanny Diaries and the sequel The Butler Diaries. She first started dating Sean Penn one month ago after the two had met at a Ke$ha concert in Redondo Beach.

Both were surprised to learn that each one knew the words to every one of Ke$ha's songs.

The two virtually became inseparable as they traveled to St. Barts, Cabo San Lucas, Paris, Dubai, Osaka, and Milwaukee (twice).

The 50-year-old Penn even got a tattoo on his right knee that reads: ScarJo Belongs To Me.

When asked by a reporter for Left Coast Mirror Magazine if that saying wasn't perhaps a little bit presumptuous Penn replied that it was not presumptuous at all and that it was merely the truth.

LCMMs Bijou Silhouette then asked Penn if Johansson had gotten a similar tattoo as well. Sean became somewhat upset and told her that it was no ones business if Miss Johansson has gotten a tattoo with his name or likeness anywhere on her body or not.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: A quick call to Mr. Larry King confirmed that Scarlett Johansson does not have a tattoo that pertains at all to Sean Penn.]

Bijou Silhouette reported that she spoke to Scarlett Johansson at the actresses' home and Miss Johansson told her that she has in fact ended her relationship with Sean Penn.

When asked why, Scarlett turned and stared out towards the beach. She took a sip of her Seven and Seven and asked Bijou, "Ah have you gotten a real good look at Sean? I mean a really, really good look? The man looks like he got body slammed back to back to back by John Goodman, David Crosby, and Conchata Ferrell."

June 5 is National Gingerbread Day except in Yuma, Arizona where they outlawed gingerbread in 2003.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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