Brad Pitt Nabs Peeping Tom

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Friday, 4 November 2005

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Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise have worked together before in 1994's Interview with the Vampire.

Actor Brad Pitt captured a peeping tom outside of his Hollywood home. He managed to hold the suspect down until officers arrived and took him away. When the perpetrator was brought to the police station, it was discovered that the peeping tom was really a Peeping Tom Cruise.

When asked why the highly successful actor would need to sneak through the bushes and peek into Brad Pitt's home, Cruise responded by saying that it was just out of sheer jealousy. "Look," said, "People magazine and other publications and shows have both called us the Sexiest Man Alive at different times. He has had the honor more recently, so I was wondering what made him more special than me. Maybe if I saw him in action with Angelina Jolie, or even ex-wife Jennifer Aniston, I might get some idea why they thought he was sexier now."

Pitt laughed that excuse off. When asked why he thought Cruise was really looking in his window, he said that "Tom was probably looking to steal one of my scripts or something. War of the Worlds was a dog, and he was probably looking for something going into production that was looking for a hunky actor. I doubt if he was trying to check out my girlfriend, because, well, she's too old for his tastes in women."

Rumors have flown around Hollywood for years that Cruise was gay or bi-sexual and that his marriages were just shams. When asked if he wasn't really spying into the windows to check out Brad's goodies, Cruise responded by saying that, "Hey, he doesn't have anything I don't have, and mine comes in a larger package, if you know what I mean. Besides, I've got myself a hot young babe now and she's pregnant with my child and she's younger than Angelina or Jennifer, even if they both have bigger breasts." After he finished his remarks, Cruise looked around for a sofa to bounce on.

Expectant mother and Cruise's girlfriend Katie Holmes was unable to come to the police station to pick up Cruise as it was after her curfew. She did say, however, that she hoped that Angelina would not hold this against her personally and would still let her three year old daughter come over to play barbies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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