The Reason Why Leonardo DiCaprio Dumped His Sexy, Sultry, Girlfriend Bar Refaeli

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 22 May 2011

image for The Reason Why Leonardo DiCaprio Dumped His Sexy, Sultry, Girlfriend Bar Refaeli
One of DiCaprio's most prized possessions is this basketball autographed by Kobe Bryant of the L.A. Lakers.

SAN FRANCISCO - Leonard DiCaprio was shopping for sunglasses as he strolled leisurely down San Francisco's world famous Fisherman's Wharf.

DiCaprio was asked by Fauna Goobergarden of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune where girlfriend Bar Refaeli was.

Leo, like the lion, made a face and kept on walking. Goobergarden followed and asked him again. And again he made a face but this time much more stern looking ala Dick "Buckshot" Cheney.

Goobergarden asked him if he had allergies, or if he was just trying to be cute, or if he was just acting his usual old sarcastic, arrogant self.

DiCaprio stopped dead in his tracks and asked if she really thought that he had allergies.

Gooby, as her boss at 5T calls her was quite smitten at the question.

DiCaprio asked her to sit down on a bench and have a talk with him. Gooby complied. Leonardo told her that he was going to give her a scoop that no one else had because he had not told anyone else.

Goobergarden was all ears. Leo told her he had actually called off his relationship with Miss Refaeli. He then corrected himself and said that he had broken up with her.

After he took a few sips of his Sangria Wine he told her that he had actually flat out dumped Bar, plain and simple.

He went on to say that he is a big fan of the NBA Los Angeles Lakers. And that he did not realize it but that Bar was a big fan of the Dallas Mavericks who recently swept the Lakers 4-0 and eliminated them from the NBA playoffs.

DiCaprio said that the Mavericks are still in the playoffs and all that he has heard come out of Bar's mouth is how great the Mavericks are and what a fantastic super player Dirk Nowitzki is.

Leo went on to say that all of that has really been getting to him. He then pointed out that the other day, while the two were having dinner in West Hollywood at a Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos that suddenly, out-of-nowhere Bar remarked that Dirk Nowitzki is a much better player than L.A. Laker Kobe Bryant.

DiCaprio said that he looked at her straight in the face and asked her what the hell she had just said.

Refaeli repeated what she had said and added that unlike Bryant, Nowitzki does not mind passing the ball to his teammates and making the game a whole team effort instead of it simply being a one-man show like it is with Kobe Bryant.

Bar also added that Dirk does not get flustered when a member of the other teams guards him exceptionally well like Kobe does.

But what really got Leonardo upset was when Bar said that Nowitzki like her was not born in America and he is showing the American boys how the American game of basketball is played.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Dirk Nowitzki is from Germany. Bar Refaeli is from Israel. Kobe Bryant was ironically born in the city of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more