Justin Bieber Victimizes Australian Bully-Boy Casey Heynes

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

image for Justin Bieber Victimizes Australian Bully-Boy Casey Heynes

Former bully-victim and disgraceful mega-superstar Justin Bieber stunned fans and social workers alike when he brought bad-ass former bully victim Casey Heynes on stage with him-- and then victimized him in a way heretofore unseen in mass entertainment.

"Justin told the world via Twitter that he flew Heynes to Melbourne to watch his concert," said Heynes attorney Gloria Allred, who flew all the way Down Under just to hold another press conference out the concert,"He was kinda excited about it."

Heynes, 13, became an international pop culture footnote when video of him after fighting a bully in his school. In the video, Heynes is seen absorbing a few blows from the fiend before picking him up, eating a box of Twinkies, them slamming the bully to the ground and knocking him the f--k out.

Bieber has supported anti-bullying movements since second grade, when he became the victim of a 'Nerd Trifecta' -- A Shushie facial, a pantsing and a girls' room swirly, all in rapid succession-- rewarded Heynes up on stage in front off tens of fans. Bieber then hugged him in a way that some deemed "too close for comfort", then forced the boy to sing backup on one of his insipid songs before chastising him.

"Look, I thought (Bieber) was a chick," said Heynes, who suffered deep lacerations to his masculinity and self worth during his stage appearance. "I was looking for a handy after the gig. From a GIRL!"

"I am devastated," said Heynes. "I don't even think a 6-figure settlement would make me feel better."

"But we are certainly be willing to try," laughed Allred, sensing her fee eroding.

Heynes will be appearing on the Australian TV game show "Staple Things To A Fat Kid's Ass."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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