Andew Lloyd-Webber is open about the fact that he can never have sex again. This is a side effect of having received treatment for prostate cancer.
Many people cannot have sex for a variety of reasons but don't go shouting it off rooftops. Many are miserable...indeed many are still virgins who don't know what they are missing.
Andrew has decided to accept this fact gracefully and has started writing a musical which tells of the frustrations of men and women who are living celebate lives but not by choice.
He wants to turn his 'misfortune' into yet another 'fortune'.
The title of the Musical is "Nous ne sommes pas Miserables" and is set in France during the 21st century.
Andrew said it is an upbeat musical with plenty of bawdy humour and numerous nude singers dancing around the stage.
He has already penned a number of new songs including:
"No substitute for real sex"
"Loving you is what I want to do"
"It's my problem and I can cry if I want to"
"Don't cry for me or my wiener"
He has approached Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson to play the two male leads and Joan Rivers to play the leading lady.
The fact that none of the three can sing won't be a problem, according to Andrew, he said it'll add to the humour of such a 'seemingly sad' plot.
The musical is, hopefully, opening on Broadway in the Spring of 2012.
