Written by Stella Kordun

Friday, 11 March 2011

A Liverpool road was forced to close last night after fans made a deluge outside the hotel where Canadian singer, Justin Bieber, was staying ahead of his concert at the weekend.

Bieber, who is just 17 said, "Do you want to know a secret? Everybody's trying to be my baby. But I won't be a ticket to ride for no one."

Bieber, who is staying at the Hard Day's Night Hotel, is keen to stress that Beatlemania has not overcome him.

"The trend today is 'Biebermania' and though I do recognise the clever contribution that The Beatles made to pop music, I am the Walrus...To be honest, The Beatles are a bit of a yesterday's band but I'm a taste of honey."

Teenage fans reaction to the singing star, Justin Bieber, bordered on an hysteria similar to that in the days of The Beatles, David Cassidy and Donny Osmond though Bieber stresses to his adoring fans that "You've got to hide your love away and you've gotta get back 'cause I got a woman, dig it?"

It has been noted by friends close to the singer that Bieber has been missing his sweetheart, Selena Gomez and is already keen to get home to Ontario, Canada where Selena is crying, waiting, hoping for a call from the singer. "Ain't she sweet?" He asks, "I love my girl eight days a week. I'm glad all over when I'm in love, let it be."

However, doctors have admitted concern that the star is helter-skelter and suffering some anxiety.

Dr Robert says, "Justin has been flying, free as a bird, here, there and everywhere, but I should have known better because I want to tell you that for Justin, this hysteria, It's all too much... In his mind, at present, is all this magical mystery tour of misery. In his sleep, he continues to shout 'run for your life, Michelle... Help, I'm a loser... Leave my kitten alone... Penny Lane, yes, that's it, it's money, that's what I want' ...It's all too much, these symptoms do indicate that Justin is losing grasp of reality and who is this Michelle? His girlfriend's name is Selena. In fact, yesterday whilst the fans were really 'hitting off', you know, Justin said that one of the fans managed to get into his room. Justin claimed that she came in through the bathroom window, but that's impossible as I saw her standing there and the policeman said "I'll get you sweet little sixteen...there's a place.." Well, I must admit...it sounded a bit unhealthy...I said to him 'You can't do that, you're a bad boy ', "I will" he said.. "I'll follow the sun" and he left with her with a little help from his friends."

Sources close to the star admitted that he had suffered a hard days night but that's typical of a day in the life of a pop star. Across the universe, there's these sea of troubles but all you need is love, so act naturally in spite of all the danger and...PS. I love you

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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