Mincing TV dance "star" Louie Spence has been given a resounding thumbs-down by panto reviewers.
The choreographer and 'TV personality,' who emerged from Sky's fly-on-the-wall series Pineapple Dance Studios, is appearing in Peter Pan at the Wimbledon Theatre. He is playing the cabin boy while co-star David Hasselhoff plays Captain Hook.
In the fine traditions of TheSpoof's fair and even-handed reporting, we have trawled high and low for something good to say about Mr Spence's performance.
Unfortunately, the kindest we could find was courtesy of the Daily Telegraph's theatre critic, Charles Spencer: "Far worse is... Louie Spence, a camp, lisping, obnoxiously self-regarding blighter... I have rarely encountered a performer at once so charmless and so smug."
At the other end of the scale and less kind was EIF News & Features showbusiness correspondent, Harlow Marlowe, who told us: "What a c**t. Where the f**k did they find that w****r? On TV? You're kidding me, right?
"What a f*****n' waste of space. What a pile of crap.
"C**t!"
