Oh ducky! The dreaded, nasally whining Ashley is done for. Too bad Claire survived - maybe she'll catch a deadly bug at the 'orspickle. Personally one had hoped the entire cast had been taken out in one fell swoop. What a wonderful opportunity it would have been to get rid of bad acting. Demented David, Gormless Gail; Freaky Fiz; the pathetic loser Grimshaws; and all the 'orrible others with their fake orange tans. Oh well - it was a thought. But as they say the more things change the more they stay the same.
In a flashback to the Gail-Joe 2-version episodes - Is she or isn't she guilty - rumors are that an upcoming Corrie St episode will reveal that the big bang was actually caused by an excessive build-up of methane gas exuded by Rovers patrons and fans of Betty's bean-laden hot pots.
Seems the 150-year old senile cook had been jazzing up the taste of her moldy hot-pots with all sorts of nitrates and fertilizer chemicals stored in the back shed by Londonistan's terrorists.
"Ah tho' it were flour", she says, wig askew, looking straight into the camera lens.
Then again one must remember that Britain's position on the international culinary chart is somewhere south of Antarctica. Really, claiming 'curry' as a true British invention is rather specious. Tut-tut.
However, in a spirited defence of ole Betty, Street denizens unanimously said:
" We all loved her hot-pots. Betty's cooking worked wonders on our bound-up Brit bowels. 'eck we would've all ended up with that diverticulitis stuff if she 'ad'nt put all that fertilizer chemical in her beanie hot-pots. Talk about cleaning out the system. We're just sorry our methane farts caused such a massive explosion".
Top chef Gawrdy Ramshackle seized on the opportunity to release his 2nd cook-book of the season. Another 'guaranteed top stocking stuffer' he told fans.
"Get my f****** book. It's called 100 variations on beany hot-pots. Great for all you unemployed yobs out there in your commode-less bed-sits who can't afford meat or laxatives. It'll f****** clean out your clogged pipes like never before".