Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

image for Harry Potter Love Child - Paternity Theory
A baby yesterday

So who is the father of the notorious Harry Potter love child?

The entire world - that's, like, just everyone - was asking this question all week after an anonymous woman posted on the web pictures of seven of the films' stars, claiming one of them was the father of the "most amazing little girl in the world."

Of course, it would be extremely libellous to point the finger at any of the Harry Potter stars, who include Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Alan Rickman, Michael Gambon etc. So we're not going to.

In stead, EIF News & Features asked Hollywood insider Danny X Sibelius to speculate on the child's paternity.

"Well, if we can illiminate the regular lads, let's assume we can also discount the gals - including lovely Emma. She probably doesn't have it in her to squire a child.

"So. I'm going for a male of the species. Shall we say someone known to this woman? A lover or husband perhaps.

"Or, maybe she got completely off her face one night and shagged someone she doesn't know at all. It could be an unknown lover.

"Oh it's fascinating! And what a future this child has... imagine! The Harry Potter lovechild! What a way to go through life!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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