Production of New Music Cancelled

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

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Anyone Playing this Is a Criminal Now

NEW YORK, L.A. & LONDON - Music publishers and record labels the world over have decided that producing new music will be futile.

Music, which has been around since the early days of humanity, has evolved into new styles, however, with globalisation, and a world market for music, the industry has been producing variants of different styles that essentially, have been the same since the early 1970s.

"Look," said Mark Hunter. "Music has been there for all of humanity, and according to record sales, its best selling in the UK, US and Japan." He smiled at our reporter, who has secretly illegally downloaded many albums, so rendering the smile moot. "However, the market has reached a saturation point. We're producing artist after artist, and they sound the same as each other."

Figures show that over 70% of the western world own a media device chock full of music that mostly sound the same.

As of 9.30pm Tue 16th Nov, all music production has ceased.

The public have responded by trashing music studios, burning audio shops, cancelling iTunes and mass protests.

"Just great," said a person in the march to the Eemiy Records in London, "I just got listening to this great band, and now they don't exist."

Usually, protest songs would be written, but under the new acts enforced by governments, all new music-writing is illegal. Even humming in the shower is criminal.

However, those who seemed to be not concerned are those in the prime years, as most of the music they listen to are either broken up bands or dead.

Music will be in the Obituaries tomorrow.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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