HACKENSACK, New Jersey - Butch Patrick, who in the 1960s starred as Eddie Munster in the sit-com The Munsters has checked himself into The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic #2 in Hackensack.
Patrick, who goes by the name Butchy Boy, said that he has been going downhill ever since his ex-cheerleader girlfriend and ex-future wife, Donna McCall, dumped him after she caught him messing around with an ex-cheerleader skank and another ex-cheerleader slut.
Butchy Boy, who is 57, said that he does not know what it is but he just seems to have an uncontrollable attraction toward girls in small skirts, low cut blouses, and pom poms.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Patrick made it clear that when he referred to pom poms he was not referring to the cheerleader strips of paper ribbon wavy thingies that they use to yell sis, boom, bah, and rah, rah, rah, with but rather the titties.]
Butch said that he is heartbroken at having been dumped by McCall whom he met at a vampire-werewolf-chupacabra convention in Intercourse, Pennsylvania back in July.
The two moved in together and had made plans to get married in December. He said that he loved the way that she would do cheerleading yells while making him dinner.
Donna says that Butch has a tendency of talking in his sleep and that on several occasions she has heard him say that he has dated Lindsay Lohan, Heidi Montag, and France's first lady Carla Bruni Sarkozy.
Butch has pointed out that he is really amazed that Donna can still do the splits without tearing her underwear. He has stated on the record that since Donna left him he has become addicted to a Coca Cola derivative, coconut cola.
SIDENOTE: Barbara McCall was contacted and asked if she will take Butch back once he goes through his 39 step addictive program. She refused to answer but did state that the problem is not with his addiction to coconut cola, but it's his addiction to Caucasian crotch cookies.