Nigella Lawson Burns Left Nipple In Chicken Noodle Soup Mishap

Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 31 October 2010

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Hot Soup - Not Good For Nipples. Ask Nigella.

Unconfirmed reports are coming in to the Skoob Entertainment News office, that Nigella Lawson, the TV chef with the big bazookas has been involved in an unfortunate kitchen mishap when her left nipple became scalded as she bent over a pan of hot chicken noodle soup.

Sources say that Nigella was a little shaken, but that she hadn't sustained a serious injury - although her nipple was said to be 'a bit tender.'

The incident allegedly occurred as the sexpot TV cook - wearing a figure hugging black top, bent over the stove and her ample breast dropped into the hot chicken noodle soup.

A man named Nemanja Vidic - not the one who plays for Man United, another one, a little bloke in a grey suit - told us that at first Nigella thought it was just heartburn, until she realised that her left nipple was acting as a bouquet garni in the soup.

"She was a bit shook up," Nemanja told us. "But there's no permanent damage to her nipple, thank God. It's just a bit brown and bullet like."

Nigella fan, Edward Shockjock was horrified when he learned of the alleged incident.

"That's terrible," he gasped. "I always watch Nigella's Kitchen - mind you I never really see what she's cooking because I get carried away by her ample bosom and her constant allusions to oral sex techniques. That must have really hurt the poor lass. It's like me dropping me bollocks into a piping hot pan of Mulligatawny. Horrendous."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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