Russell Brand and the Missing Million Pound Monkey

Funny story written by Katarina Frogpond2

Sunday, 24 October 2010

image for Russell Brand and the Missing Million Pound Monkey
The monkey who stole Russell's heart...and want his kidneys, too.

Russell Brand is under suspicion of stealing a monkey, but not just any monkey. This monkey is a trained Jewel Thief and is believed to have previously belonged to Indian Street Gangster who prey on the wealth of European tourists.

The monkey is said to be worth in the region of one million pounds, and is wanted in 17 different country for devious crimes. He answers to the name of "George" and is believed to be very sneaky and devious. So much so that people are now very worried for the safety of Russell Brand and his new wife Katy.

Friends have said they are very worried, too, because although Russell admits he stole the monkey, what actually happened is that the monkey stole a part of Russell's anatomy instead. In fact, it stole his heart, and Russell now loves the monkey very much and wants to take it home to England.

The monkey, however, has fallen in love with Russell's wedding present to his new wife, Katy. A 20 carat diamond believed to be worth 20 million pounds. The monkey is said to turn vicious if denied the things he wants so police say that if Russell values his safety he should surrender the Monkey to them before he leaves for London.

Russell is believed to have said "No. I love this monkey and he's part of our family now. Nothing can tear us apart"

The police, however, say Russell is being very silly because they believe there is one thing that will tear them apart... The monkey's love for shiny diamonds and...


Police say that although the monkey may look cute, and may be the new love of Russell's life, they are begging him to think of his safety. Their message to him tonight is. "Ditch the monkey. He's a baddie of baddest kind. Don't let this monkey's love of diamonds AND CURRIED INTESTINES be the end of the Russell Brand Story. You have so much more to offer the world. Goodbye"

By Katarina Frogpond

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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