Nadya Suleman: "I'm an intelligent, articulate woman. Can I have some money?"

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Monday, 4 October 2010


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image for Nadya Suleman: "I'm an intelligent, articulate woman. Can I have some money?"
Imagine this X 14.

Nayda Suleman, the woman the press has unfortunately labeled "Octomom", wants everyone to know that she is an intelligent, articulate woman, who is perfectly capable of caring for her 14 children.

"I am not nearly as insane as I come off on TV," said Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez, whose real name is used here to prove that, once again, a latina woman can be a positive role model for the community, even if she is ashamed to admit she's Mexican.*

Suleman is no dummy. She is a licensed psychiatric technician, has a Bachelor's degree in child and adolescent development, and is working toward her Master's.

Additionally, she was able to buy a $600,000 California mansion with no visible means of income. Nevertheless, she's paid her $4,139 monthly mortgage nine out of the last twelve months, and is currently just a few days away from paying the $450,000.00 balloon payment, originally due in March.

Her financial wheelings-and-dealings have not come at the expense of her dignity. While Vivid video has a standing offer to Nadya to pay off her house if she stars in an adult movie, there will not be any Octo-porn available for illegal download anytime soon: Nadya has flatly refused.

So, while the media continues to point out that Ms. Suleman continues to teeter on the brink of foreclosure and homelessness, and has the ability to make sure her children have a home by starring in a Vivid video, she will continue to work as a celebrity bartender at Carlos' n Charlie's, or have a few more garage sales, because Octomom ain't no dummy.

* It's just a joke, people. There is no such thing as a positive Latina role model.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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