Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 19 September 2010


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image for OctoMom Says She Is Being Forced To Go On Welfare
Nadya Suleman may end up having to move to a trailer like this one located in East L.A.

LA HABRA, California - The world's most famous mother of octuplets, Nadya Suleman appeared on the Sean Hannity Show and told him that she is having to go on welfare.

Hannity told her to get a damn job and to forget about having Uncle Sam pay for her and her 14 kids.

Suleman said that all of the millions and millions of dollars in donations have run out and now she does not even have money to buy Cheerios for the bigger kids or Gerber for the younger ones.

Sean shook his Fred Flintstone looking head and asked her where the hell the tons of money went.

Nadya shrugged her shoulders and told him that it just went.

"Okay but where woman? Please tell me and all of my GOP viewing audience where the hell did all of those millions of donated dollars go? Hell I myself donated $17 to your OctoMom Fund."

Suleman said that a lot of it went to entertain the kids. She asked Hannity if he knew how expensive it is to attend the movies these days. She then added and then there's the outrageous prices for sodas, popcorn, M&M's, Jalapenos, Raisinets, fried shrimp, and hot dogs.

She then added that the video games for her kids five Sony Playstation III's have also gotten outrageously expensive.

And then she pointed out that she had to go on three different diets to lose the 139 pounds that she had gained when she got pregnant.

Hannity smirked and started playing the 'air violin.'

"Nadya, you mean to tell me that you have five Sony Playstation III's?" He asked.

Suleman answered that she did and she asked Hannity if he had any for his kids.

He replied that he had two, but he then added that he was filthy rich and if he wanted to he could afford to have 2,000 of the suckers.

Nadya shook her head and called him a smart ass.

He laughed and told her if she had ever heard of applying for a job. Nadya asked "And who the heck will watch my 14 kids?"

Hannity smiled and said "Hell, just plop them in front of the five Sony Playstations and when you return eight hours later they will all still be in the same place.

Nadya fumed. "Mr. Hannity. You sir are a complete jerk!"

Sean replied. "And you Ms. Suleman are a complete jerkette."

SIDENOTE: Suleman has repeatedly tried to make contact with Mel Gibson hoping that maybe he would find her attractive enough to want to get together with her, but she says that so far he has not returned any of her 14 emails.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: octomom, welfare

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