James Cameron to Re-re-release Avatar in 1 Dimension

Funny story written by ronin47empire

Saturday, 2 October 2010

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Unfazed by a lukewarmy response to the re-release of his $2billion 3-D block-buster: Cameron. Highly placed Hollywood sources are reporting that the director James Cameron is about release the same movie for a third time in theatres. But this time the movie is expected to be released in exactly 1 dimension.

"Avatar's fans and supporters have now seen the movie in 3-D, twice with the extra footage and everything. There's not much more to be done in three dimensions. But Jim has always been at the fore front of movie technology and no one has ever seen a one dimensional movie..ever," said Thabish, noted 8th grader and Hollywood observer.

"The movie has been rendered into lines where all the Na'vi characters are now a straight blue line that move only in the Z-axis. The villainous humans are brown lines and there are a few points as well to the movie," continued Thabish, deftly pre-empting our question about 'What is the point of the movie?'

Sources close to Lightstorm (Cameron's wonderful company that insists it can release this movie however many times it wants to, even if the story is frightening to similar to both Dances With Wolves and Pocahontas) allege that a power point presentation will follow the end of the movie instead of the credits and Leona Lewis' wannabe cover of Celine Dion's Titanic soundtrack.

The .ppt is expected to cover the fascinating manner in which the movie was made into lines moving forward and arbitrary unrelated snippets from James Cameron's life in bulletted points. "Well if Al Gore can win an Oscar for a .ppt I don't see why Jim can't, unless his ex makes a movie about a spreadsheet or something" averred Thabish.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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