Waxy, Wig-Wearing Senior Citizen Charged With Impersonating Sly Stallone

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

image for Waxy, Wig-Wearing Senior Citizen Charged With Impersonating Sly Stallone
ABOVE: Rocky star Talia Shire explains how she rubs her left hand to rid herself of hand pain.

Police in Beverly Hills, CA are red-faced over the arrest of Academy Award-winning author Sylvester Stallone, believing that Stallone was impersonating himself.

"I had no idea it was him," explained Officer Tad Hunter of the LAPD. "All I saw was a 75 year old man wearing a wig and what appeared to be a Kim John Il Hallowe'en mask, who toldl me that he is Sly Stallone. I didn't buy it.

"It happens occasionally," said LAPD spokesperson Boards Hortz. "Especially in L.A. County. You know a famous actor from a movie they were in 40 years ago: You see them today and, well, it is surprising.

Indeed, some recent photos of the Academy Award-winning (!) actor/writer show that he's had some... er,work done.

"Who the f--k is this?" asked butcher-to-the-stars Dr. Frank Ryan, when showed recent photos of Stallone. "This man's face is pulled so tight he now appears to be Korean. And the jet-black wig is just terrible. Hey, did you notice there are no guardrails on the PCH? Weird, huh?"

Did you know?

Sylvester Stallone wrote or co-wrote over 40 screenplays? In addition to "Rocky 15: Beating a Dead Horse" Sly has sequels to "F.I.S.T." and "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot" already in production.

The police officer who watched Sly fail to come to a complete stop states that Sly vehemently "disagreed" with the officer's version of the events -- and was "less than cordial. We're not talking Mel Gibson a--holey, but certainly less than cordial."

We're guessing all the talk didn't serve Stallone well -- according to our sources, the "Expendables" star got slapped with a citation.

The Lords of Flatbush, Cannonball, Rocky, F.I.S.T., Paradise Alley, Rocky II

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more