Titanic III To Go Into Production - Leonardo DiCaprio Not Expected To Be Involved

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 29 August 2010

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Steady As She Goes!

Following the runaway success of James Cameron's 'Titanic' which saw Leonardo DiCaprio slowly sinking into the icy waters of the north Atlantic, and the somewhat less spectacular success of 'Titanic II' (similar to the first one, but with bargain basement SFX and a far less accomplished cast) SEN can confirm that 'Titanic III' will be going into production soon.

Director, Wesley Pegden hasn't as yet fully cast the movie, but it seems doubtful that Leonardo DiCaprio will be involved.

"I think the budget restrictions put him off," Pegden said, wiping his hands on an oily rag in the West Yorkshire workshop which he has been using as a temporary base. But he was happy to discuss the project.

The original Titanic was struck by an iceberg in 1912, Titanic II was sunk by a giant tsunami caused by global warming, and in the new film, Titanic III will probably be harpooned by a giant prehistoric swordfish as it comes under attack from Somali pirates.

"Something like that, anyroad," Pegden told SEN. "We haven't really decided yet, but we do promise something spectacular. We did consider getting your very own Buffty Ginslinger on board, but we had to abandon that idea when he insisted that we use sixties TV wrestling villain Mick McManus - played by Alex Reid - Jackie Mister TV Pallo - played by Peter Andre, and Giant Haystacks, played by Katie Price with her top off throughout, as characters in the movie. That just wasn't on, so I had to fire him."

Pegden then went on to say that he had made approaches to Kate Winslett, Jodie Foster, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Cheryl Cole, Kristen Stewart, Emma Watson, Nyree Dawn-Porter, Fern Britton and one time luscious page three pin up girl Linda Lusardi to appear in the movie, although he admitted that he was still awaiting responses from their respective agents.

The prospect of a third Titanic movie may not exactly hold mouth-watering appeal for investors, or indeed with anyone unfortunate enough to be involved in it, but Pegden Productions are a go ahead production company, and remain steadfastly upbeat.

At which point, Wesley Pegden had to go in as his tea was ready.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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